Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Lasers are the future of squash!

Yes, you read that right. The future is here and it hasn't appeared in the form of another twist on the rules of our beloved game. (Don't get me started on that 5-let rule nonsense.) No, the future I'm referring to has an ironically retro Tron sensibility: "Laser Squash"!

Apparently, in 2004 a Dutch gaming company, "Laser Promotions B.V.", launched their patented prototype for a futuristic court-based game that has the future squash player playing with a polycarbonate wand instead of an old fashioned racquet. The wand has "nice features" such as the fact that "it vibrates when a beam is hit, simulating the impact of a "heavy" beam and a string of LED's light up." Nice. LEDs.

And forget about warming up those old analog balls - we're chasing lasers here dood!

If you reckon that squash didn't make the Olympics because viewers have trouble following the ball listen to this: "The setup of the laser and the sounds generated by the software, is very enjoyable for spectators to see and hear. It is a perfect combination to use a laser with an easy to understand and fun-to-play game."

And look at that cool court! I guess the one on the left is the "night" option. Isn't that totally Tron? The shot below is a promotional conceptual still from "Tron: Legacy". See what I'm talking about?

I can hear you ask, "Is it going to be the same workout?" Oh, yeah.
I quote: "LaserSquash evolves into a real fast and exhausting play when the players hit all beams quickly and successfully. LaserSquash is extremely spectacular to watch and adrenaline kicks when played."

And how many times have you wished you could play a game of squash by yourself? LaserSquash has a Squash ROBOT! "Danger, Jonathon Power. Danger!" Check this monster out:

It's such a workout that you'll double up your wristbands!

Don't dismiss this natural evolution of squash. Don't be afraid of the future! Step up and play LaserSquash with me!

Check out their website. (Yep, they're not kidding.)

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