The Squash Ball Warmer!

Squash toys you never knew you needed! Part 1: The Squash Ball Warmer

You're in tough: It's 8-6 and you're serving for the match against someone you've never beaten before. You know you shouldn't be thinking about it but you can almost taste the ranking points that are waiting for you in change room. You see yourself drying your mom's tears of joy and being toasted by admiring fans, don't you?

"Focus!" you whisper to yourself as you serve a beautiful lob serve - the kind you have been working on with your coach - and you watch as they return it straight into the tin. The match is yours!

But wait, they're pretty sure that the ball is broken and they tell the ref. The ref checks and, by gosh, it is broken! "Here's a new ball," the refs says as he throws down a frozen lump of rubber that you two are now expecting to warm up to "game heat". You try to stay focussed as you drive the ball to warm it up but you can feel it slipping away: The match was yours! You should be off the court bitching about having to ref so soon after a monster match while everyone congratulates you for winning. Finally the new ball is warm and you serve for the match again. You serve it out, don't you? Of course you do. And your opponent then goes on a tear, scores four straight and wins 10-8. ALL BECAUSE OF A BROKEN BALL!

Well, I'm here to tell you that those days are over amigo! Karakal has produced a dandy little appliance that solves all those nasty issues: A squash ball warmer. Nice.

What are you waiting for? The box promises it all!

• Your technique will improve!

• Diminish the risk of muscular injury!
• Keep your concentration on the match!

I quote from the back of the groovy package:
"With Hot Ball, (© 1996-1999 AETOS), your ball will bounce appropriately upon first hit. All your concentration is now at your disposal to execute your shots and no longer for warming up your ball!" - "With Hot Ball there is no need to hit like a brute to warm up the ball. You will thus reduce the heroic achievements needed to fight the cold and welcome the odour caused by excessive heat!"

(Ed. Note: I translated this from the French on the package and it's been a while since I spoke French:) I'm pretty sure it said that or something close:)

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